It's Monday and time to answer more of your questions.

Here are a few more of the questions that were sent to me after my post about Trig Palin on Wednesday.

1) Why do you think Bristol lived with her aunt?

Bristol did not want to move to Juneau because she wanted to continue her relationship with Levi. They wanted to remain close enough to still see each other. I believe this is during the time that Todd allegedly offered Bristol a new car as a bribe to get her to end her relationship with my brother.

2) Does Levi KNOW he is the father? Do you think there is any chance he isn’t and is just being paid to pretend?

Let me put it this way. If there was any doubt then Levi would have had a paternity test done, and despite theories to the contrary there is no way he would accept money to pretend to be some innocent child's father.

That is a very disgusting thing to even consider. If Tripp were not Levi's son it would break my heart, and I don't know if I could ever get over that. But I believe with all of my heart that Tripp is a Johnston.  And Levi is a proud father to his little boy, who by the way looks identical to how he looked when he was Tripp's age.

3) Again. for the umpteenth time in two years I have been asking this question…WHY DOES LEVI HAVE A HOSPITAL BRACELET ON in the pictures with Trig? I am smelling BS and I am NEVER wrong.


Well I have to admit that  I had never seen this picture before, and at first was just as confused as many of you.  However the other day Levi happened to call and I was able to ask him about it.  He identified it as a picture of him with Tripp at the hospital.  I don't know why people believed it was Trig, but it's not.

4) You said on Larry King Live that Levi once went an entire summer not speaking to you because Bristol told him so. You have stated that Levi lived with the Palins. When did all this happen? It couldn’t have been the Summer of 2008 before the election. Was it 2007? And if so why was Levi living with the Palins in 2007? Do you want us to believe that Levi would tell you everything when he went a whole summer not talking to you because somebody told him to? Your appear to be truthful but I think you are leaving out quite a bit. Why?

I would like to make this clear. I know I have laid all this out before but I will explain it again because there still seem to be questions.

It was before the election. Bristol started demanding that Levi end all contact with me in the summer of 2008 at the beginning of her pregnancy.

Because of the campaign Bristol had to put on a happy face and play nice, so during THAT time Levi was again allowed to talk to me. I guess she realize I would speak out and ruin the "perfect image". Or at least that's how I perceived it because the change in her attitude towards me came out of nowhere. It was a like the difference between night and day.

Levi lived with the Palins at the end of Bristol's pregnancy in 2008, and moved out shortly after Tripp's birth because of the constant fighting between he and Bristol, and other personal issues.

That's when the real hell started for our family. But never in my wildest dreams did I think it would become this bad.

5) What do you think accounts for the difference in size between the Trig that is shown being held by the Heaths in the hospital corridor and the Trig that you are holding in the Palin house two weeks later?

I can not give an answer for that. It might possibly have something to do with camera angles. Or maybe there really is something going on about which I am still completely in the dark.

6) So, why is Levi not seeing his son anymore? Bristol is in LA, and I hear moving to Arizona, and yet, doesn’t Levi have custody time each week?
Does he not care? Maybe the baby isn’t his after all?

I didn't know Bristol was moving to Arizona, and that's very hurtful to hear. We've already missed so much of his life while only living a few miles apart, if he really does move thousands of miles away there will be little hope that we will see very much of him at all anymore.

As you know"Team Levi" does not talk to me about the legal side of things. (Even going so far as to announce in the paper that I "won’t be privy to information from anyone with Team Levi.” And Levi is not allowed to fill me in either, so all that I know about the legal agreement is what I read on the internet. Obviously Levi does not have much control over what happens with Tripp as everybody can determine by how rarely he sees his son these days.

I do know that Levi loves his little boy very much, and I cannot imagine how, or why, he allowed his lawyers to mess things up so badly for him.

You asked the questions, so let me try to answer them

I felt that the Trig controversy was a very important topic and one that would result in much debate, so I wanted to go back and read through the comments and answer some of your questions. Like you I feel strongly about this subject too and I promise that I am telling all I know to the best of my ability. I wish I could answer every question so completely that there would no longer be any confusion, but unfortunately I cannot.

If only I could go back in time and pay attention to every detail of what happened. Perhaps then I might be able to answer everybody's questions. But obviously that is not a option.

So here are the questions and my responses.


1) Respectfully, what’s with the photo where Levi is holding a baby and there is another baby’s arm cut out of the photo?


That photo is a picture I took of my brother holding his son with our young cousin on his lap. I cropped out our cousin because I did not have permission to post a picture of her online.



2) I don’t doubt your story of what you think you know. but it does seem curious to me that these well documented events don’t make you think twice about Trig being Sarah's biological son.


I'll admit that there have been many times when I have had my doubts. It is simply a fact that I just cannot fathom someone being evil and narcissistic enough to fake a pregnancy. Plus I was around during that time, and heard first hand Bristol saying that they thought their mom was pregnant, which she at first denied, and then admitted. And after seeing Bristol so furious with her mom for hiding it, well that led me to believe that it was legit. But yes I still do have my doubts, and if I were Sarah I would just release some proof to end all of this speculation. If it were me that would seem like a no-brainer.


3) I am shocked that you guys have been so trashed by the Palins and that Bristol continues to take shots just like this week on DWTS about her being a golden girl and never problems until she was with Levi…..why is he not going to court about her talking negatively about him? The judge said that was not supposed to happen, right?


First off, don't be shocked because they will continue to do this to everybody they can, especially us. But yes, that comment about Levi really set me off!

You are right, that was part of the agreement that no parties should talk badly about each other, And if they did, from my understanding, they wouldn't be able to spend time with Tripp, yet what has she been doing this whole time? Bashing not only me all over Facebook, but bashing Levi at every possible opportunity she can get. She has done it on Facebook, in almost every interview, and even on DWTS. Just imagine what she says behind closed doors IN FRONT of Tripp!

My biggest fear is that Tripp will grow up despising his father's side of the family all because of how vindictive and cruel the Palins are toward us. I can only imagine the hateful and untrue things being said to, and in front of, young Tripp.

I have had her friends tell me to my face that she slams my whole family in front of my nephew. I find that completely unacceptable! She has no right to say those things in front of an impressionable child.

Yet the Palins get away with it. Why don't the Palins ever seem to have to face consequences for their actions? I thought the law is the law, and everyone is equal. But I guess that isn't the case if your last name is Palin.

For my part I have repeatedly reached out to Bristol and attempted to rebuild our relationship for the sake of Tripp, but she just completely dismisses my offers using harsh and insulting language.

Tripp doesn't deserve that. He deserves to know us and experience our family for himself without anybody poisoning his mind against us. I just know if he got that chance my nephew would love me unconditionally regardless of how hard Bristol has tried to turn him against me and my other family members.

Bristol claiming that she was the golden child before she met Levi is a whole other story. If Bristol wants the world to think that, well I could easily prove just the opposite, and I seriously doubt that she wants that. This isn't a threat, but I do have many potentially embarrassing things saved as well as some photos and videos which prove that she was no "golden child", before or after, Levi.

I do not want to play dirty, nor do I want to fight or say bad things about the mother of my nephew. But I have tried the nice route, and practically begged, but still got nothing but thrown under the Palin bus when all I wanted was to see Tripp, or even just receive a recent photo so that I can see how he is changing as he begins to grow up. Many members of my family have never even met him and I know his great grandmother would love to see a picture of him, especially since she is in such poor health.

But it's really hard to keep being nice when, no matter how hard I try, I get nowhere. Bristol saw me cry my eyes out during the deposition (all while she was laughing and rolling her eyes) because I was missing my nephew so very much. And yet she remained unmoved.

I now realize that there is nothing else I can do to prove my commitment to seeing Tripp. There will always be something I am not doing right, or something that she finds fault with, that will give her the excuse she needs to deny our family access to my brother's son. . She has consistently used him as a pawn against us since the day he was born.

And you know people may not be aware of this, but Levi was a great boyfriend to her. I often helped him pick out diamonds, flowers, Teddy bears, chocolates, and more cards than I can remember, even during the times when she was treating him like dirt. Bristol even went to prom with another guy while in a steady relationship with Levi during her freshman year. And yet he forgave her and kept trying to make it work. She is just like her mother, and has to have somebody to blame,for everything!


4) And what is your take on the Junior High crap that she and her sister got into with some guys on Facebook…..I am hoping you write this story ….you have nothing to lose….that you haven’t already lost……?


That kind of attitude and language is not unusual for either Bristol or Willow. This is just the first time they've been caught.

Bristol just loves to bash, belittle, or talk crap about people, and brag about her success all over her Facebook.

The small sampling I posted on my blog was just a sliver of the real Bristol talking. The Palin girl's true colors were revealed in that Facebook debacle for all of the world to see.

Last week Bristol even went so far as to tell some girl to "...suck di**..." and said"...I'll make more money tonight then you will this whole year..." the rest of the comments are too racy to post here. When I went back to her Facebook page later to save the comments (just in case) she had already erased them and retyped them, making them sound innocent and reasonable. But everybody that was involved in that Facebook argument, which was similar to the one posted on TMZ, saw the true Bristol before she had the chance to erase and retype her side of the exchange. She definitely lost a few hometown fans from that. (By the way if anybody involved in that petty FB fight happened to save Bristol's comments before she erased and moderated them could you please send them to me. I want the world to see her for who she truly is. Just click the "Contact me" link at the top of this page.)


5) Btw do you think Bristol is pregnant or just putting on a lot of weight? Is she still seeing Ben Barber and having sex with him? And what about that text from him asking if she is pregnant to which she just replied "no" ?


I personally do not think Bristol is pregnant, but there has been quite a lot of talk about that possibility on the internet. About her personal relationship with Barber, I don't want to answer any questions about that, I feel that is a little too much information to share. But I will say that if he had to ask, there's a reason why. People don't ask a virgin/abstinence spokesperson if she's pregnant, if you know what I mean.


6) Sarah has claimed many times in interviews that she “barely knew” Levi when he and Bristol announced they were pregnant (which, btw, was much later than the time of Trig’s birth). If that is true, that she barely knew him, why the heck was he there in the wee hours of the morning for the birth of Trig?


Ha-ha, these type of statements make me laugh. It is very similar to Bristol telling people her mom has only met me once, when in reality we've met countless times. We went to a concert together, even riding in the same car together, and obviously my mom and I went to the Palin home when those infamous "Triggybear" photos were taken. There were many other run ins as well, especially throughout all the years the boys played hockey.

Now for her to say she barely knew Levi, that is just absurd. She pretended like they were best friends when she needed him to help her create the perfect family image at the convention and in public. They spent plenty of time together and had a fairly decent relationship for much of that time.

Levi was at the hospital because it was an emotional event, his girlfriend was meeting her new baby brother for the first time, and she wanted him to be a part of that special, life changing moment.

Sarah needs to start writing her stories down because she seems to keep forgetting what she has said in the past.

7) WHY do you think your pictures were scrubbed of your computer?


I have absolutely no idea why anyone would want to steal my precious irreplaceable photos. The only logical thing my family can think of is that the Secret Service took them. Other than that we have no answers.

Honestly we to have more questions than answers about that. Every repair guy who looked at the computer said there was not a single bit of information left. To them it appeared that nobody had ever put anything at all on our computers and they said that only somebody VERY skilled could have done such a thorough job.

Okay that is all of the questions I can get to today. I will come back and answer more questions later this weekend or at the beginning of the next week.

Have a nice weekend!

What I know about the birth of Trig Palin

This post has taken an exceptionally long time to write because I keep erasing and rewriting it in order to make sure it is nothing short of perfection, and that it leaves no significant questions unanswered.



But after many days, and even weeks, I have come to realize that no matter how well written, or how sincere and honest, the post is there will always be doubts and questions. Therefore I have decided to simply tell all that I know, and all that I have seen with my own eyes.


It wasn’t until I read it on IM that I came to realize that there were people even speculating that Trig was not Sarah’s real son, and alleging that she lied about his birth. Some even saying that perhaps there was a third child involved.


To be completely honest I looked at that conspiracy theory like they were all crazy. Of course I would never lie about anything, period, Especially not about an innocent young child.



I really do not know where to start with this post so I guess I will start from the very beginning.



I vividly remember hearing Bristol say that she and her family were suspicious that their mother might be pregnant because she was wearing loose clothing, acting different, and being distant. It was not much later that I recalled Bristol acting very hostile and having no idea what was going on.



Eventually I found out that there was turmoil within the family because Sarah had just admitted she was pregnant with a baby boy to her family and that the next day she would announce it publicly.



It appeared to me that the Palin family were offended and hurt that Sarah lied and hid her pregnancy from her own children. It wasn’t much later that I overheard that Sarah flew back from Texas while she was in labor to Alaska to give birth to her son Trig. It seemed that it was very important to her that she gave birth to her baby in “her great state of Alaska”.



Days later we were invited to the Palins house in early May (Levi’s birthday) to meet the sweet newborn baby Trig.


I was anxious to meet Trig for a number of reasons. The first being that I knew I had a niece or nephew on the way soon and I wanted to be around babies to get an idea of how it would feel to be an aunt. I hadn’t had much baby experience at that point.



I was also very excited to meet Trig because I was convinced that my brother and Bristol were going to get married and start a family pretty soon so I considered the Palins a part of the family already.



I am a very welcoming person and allow people into my life easily. I guess I just got my hopes up a little too soon.



Because of my open heart and eagerness to bring our families together at that time, Bristol and I were as close as we ever were, and I was even calling her my “sissy in-law”. Which, by the way, was even her name as it appeared on my phone. I really thought things were going to work out.



I was so full of joy that day when I walked into the Palin home that when they handed me Trig I just held him in my arms and melted. He was just the most beautiful, tiniest little guy and I instantly fell in love with him.



How can you not? After all, at the time I was in a serious relationship with a man who had a younger brother with Down syndrome so I already had a soft spot for children with special needs.



People often ask why I took photos. Well, why wouldn’t I ?



At the time I considered the Palins family, and I thought that Trig would soon be my brother in-law. I take family seriously and I keep my camera with me at all times. I also scrap book, and I love to take pictures so that friends and family can see themselves when they’re older and look back at all of the great memories that we shared.



I guess because I do not have many photos of myself as a young child I wanted to make sure that my nephew and Trig (Who I once thought would be a big part of my life) would have that special treat and we could always look at the pictures together and I would have the opportunity to share those memories with them. It was something that I sorely missed in my life.



The captions I put on the MySpace photos may have seemed a bit “weird”, or “suspicious”, or even “odd” but the truth is that I was only a teenager who thought this adorable child was going to become family and I was in awe of him. As weird as it may sound I always give out nicknames, it is just something I have always done, and for some reason I always put “bear” at the end of loved ones names. I probably picked it up from my mother and Father who have always called me Sadie-Bug.



I have always referred to my brother as “Ishy-Bear”, Trig was “Triggy-Bear”, and Tripp “Trippy-Bear”. It is just ME and it is just what I do. Weird or not, there is no story or hinting behind it, it’s just a nickname.

As for “Mommy In law”, well that was just a simple mistake. What I meant was that Sarah would soon be Levi’s Mother-in-Law.



Had I known that my personal MySpace would be invaded by millions of curious people I would have definitely made changes in my whole profile, but as an unsuspecting teenager that isn’t something you expect to happen OVER NIGHT. I was just the average teen from Alaska bragging about my adorable “family”. Simple as that.
　
People get heated about this topic and I have never understood why. Everyone has their own theory but this is all I know, and I am sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear, but it is the truth as I know it.



As far as I am aware Sarah did not fake her pregnancy and I do not know why she would.



In those photos I agree she looks lean but that is how she has always looked to me.



People pick every detail about her apart claiming her legs are too skinny and she is wearing a baggy sweatshirt indicating that it’s something suspicious. Well then explain why she is basically wearing the same outfit in her new reality show while she is lounging around her home saying “Noooo boys go upstairs” (Maybe that is just her comfortable clothing, I know I wear sweatshirts while lounging around my house).



Truth is I cannot give you all the answers but I am trying my best. You cannot see her stomach through that sweatshirt so nobody really knows. Many people I know have had children and their legs stay slim.



I am not saying Sarah isn’t hiding anything, or that I am sticking up for her, but I am just giving my opinion. After all that she and her family has done to us I hope you all believe that if I knew something I would be the first to say so but that isn’t the case.



I did not even ever consider she would fake her pregnancy until I started reading reports and blogs. Even then I didn’t believe it.



I’ve seen and read it all. The ear theory, fake pregnancy suit, adoption, switching out babies, and all I can say is that I never saw any evidence that supports any of that. I also never noticed anything wrong, different, or odd about Trigs ears when I saw him.



If indeed they did fake the pregnancy, adopt, or switch a baby, well then that makes her the most evil and manipulative women I have ever come across. But right now I still have no good reason to doubt that Sarah is the biological mother of Trig.



However, I do question why she has NEVER provided any proof to put the rumors to rest. I realize she is not obligated to do so, but why not shut everybody up? And then recently I heard that she gave the wrong location for his birth. How could she forget that he was born in Wasilla?



There are many unanswered questions, and I am sorry I cannot answer all of them for you. Believe me, I wish I could. It never occurred to me that there would ever be this level of speculation or I would have paid a lot more attention back then.


After the infamous TriggyBear photos were taken Bristol and Levi had taken Trig to my mother’s home a few times and my mom never noticed anything different or odd about Trig. He was just a joyful baby boy who looked exactly the same everytime she saw him. She never noticed a difference in his appearance whatsoever.

I do know that there is no way that Trig is Bristol’s son. Bristol was with my brother during that whole time and Levi would never hide something like that from me.



I was also around Bristol once in awhile at that time and she did not have a baby belly whatsoever.



There is NO WAY that Trig is Bristol’s son. To my knowledge she has had one beautiful son, and that is my precious nephew Tripp Johnston.

I'm back !

First I want to apologize for the long absence and lack of posts.

Recently I lost someone near and dear to my heart and it has been very tough on me. I am not trying to give off a "poor me" vibe, but I just wanted to make it clear that, despite what some people seem to think, I was not getting paid to keep quiet, bribed, scared off, or anything like that. Nor, by the way, would I ever let that happen.

My absence was just because I was grieving, and on top of that I recently got into a car accident. My friend was driving and we were T-boned ( Everyone is fine though I did receive a few minor injuries like a few bruised ribs, a concussion, and the reawakening of my back and neck problems). I have also been distracted with my mom's declining health, and of course the never ending battle to see my nephew.

Later on this week I will be discussing how I feel about my brother running for Mayor of my home town of Wasilla, as well as what I thought about his appearance on ’The View.’ (Did you see that Barbra Walters practically demolished him verbally?)

I will also soon give my honest opinion on the huge Trig controversy. What I know to be true, what I believe to be true, and how some of my opinions have changed based on all that I have heard and seen in the last two years. I will include the infamous photos and the inside details to everything I can remember from the day I went to the Palin home and first met baby Trig.

However, I want to limit all of the questions and rumors regarding Bristol, simply because I do not want my blog to be all about Bristol Palin. That was never my intention and NEVER will be.

Recently I have been trying my best to reach out to Bristol because I miss my nephew terribly, and I would really like to work on our relationship. But of course that does require that both people to want to make the relationship work, and so far that does not seem to be the case.

That being said I do hope that one day she too will want to establish a relationship with the aunt to her child, if for no other reason than for the benefit of Tripp. I truly believe that Tripp deserves all the love in the world and that’s exactly what I want to give him!

Once again I am very sorry for the long absence and thank you all for being so sincere, demonstrating such a caring attitude, and being so supportive of my family. Bless you all.

Break a leg on "Dancing with the Stars" Bristol! (I mean that in a good way of course.)

I wanted to take a moment and wish the mother of my nephew good luck tonight on her first big dancing debut.

I sincerely hope that she does well and is starting to feel confident in her performance.

I'm sure a few of you are wondering why in the world I am addressing this on my blog, but it really is the only way that I can reach out to her.

I am also wondering if I should look for my nephew in the stands.

I guess the only way for my family to find out is to look for him this evening while we watch the show together. It's sad to say that if we do see him in the audience that it will be the first time in months.

Maybe Bristol will soon be willing to accept my (and my families) offer of help. We would love to watch Tripp time from time now that she has such an action packed schedule. I'm sure she can use the help.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out my support since, regardless of our rocky relationship, she is the mother of my beautiful nephew.

(I will have to be truthful though and admit that as much as I want Bristol to do well my vote is going toward the SITUATION.)

The man who set my mother up

[caption id="attachment_315" align="alignnone" width="278" caption="Junior Latocha"][/caption]

This is Junior Latocha, and HE is the reason that my mother was arrested in 2008 and why people STILL refer to her as an addict and a drug pusher, even though neither is true.

The man that set my mother up was someone I never would have expected. Perhaps I would not have been so upset if the person who virtually destroyed my mother’s life was not aware of her circumstances and physical condition, but he was well aware. In fact recognizing her vulnerability was probably what inspired him to target her in the first place.

He is the older brother of one of my “friends”, and I have known the Latochas for almost 8 years.

I went to school with his younger brother and once in awhile even hung out with him. They all knew my mom was physically disabled, had chronic pain, and was in the process of losing her husband of 23 years, which resulted in both depression and heartache. And of course they also knew that she had pain pills.

I really thought that since the whole town knew of my mother’s condition that the last thing anyone, especially one of my “friends”, would ever do was victimize her further. Really the ONLY reason that Junior was able to manipulate her into selling her pills was because she was having a battle with her insurance company. They wanted her to come up with $800 more each time she got a new prescription filled. There was simply no way she could ever afford that, she could barely even afford to put gas in the car, and without her medications she would become so deathly ill she would have to go to the hospital. My mother’s pain was absolutely unbearable, so she was desperate to come up with the money somehow

It is still a mystery as to how Junior got my mother’s phone number because the phone she was using was originally Bristol’s phone. (My mom bought both Levi and Bristol new phones right after she found out that Bristol was pregnant because Sarah refused to pay for hers anymore. But after one of Levi and Bristol’s many fights she SHIPPED her phone back to my mom in the MAIL. Since my mom had been using an old brick phone she decided to upgrade to Bristol’s Blackberry and got rid of her old one). So I don't know whether Bristol was in contact with Junior, or if he just did his research to find my mother’s number. We are still confused by the circumstances leading up his initial contact.

He started out texting her everyday at first, often multiple times in the same day, trying to convince her to sell her prescription medication. Then later he started to call and talk to her on the phone.

He worked very hard at convincing my mother to sell her pills and used all of the things he knew about her and our family to wear her down. He said things like “I know you have kids, and I know you need the money. What are you going to let them starve? Your husband is leaving you, he is gone now! What other choices do you have? You’re disabled! This is the only way to feed and put your kids through school!”

After months of this kind of persistence unfortunately she gave in because she was desperate to find a way to pay for her medication and to buy food for the family. She is very ashamed of that decision and I know she regrets it every minute of every day.

What my mother could not have known was that Junior Latocha was working undercover for the police in an agreement that would significantly lessen his own sentence. (Word on the street is that the police wanted someone connected to the Palins in order to get back at Sarah. I don’t know if that is true, but I wouldn’t doubt it.) When my mother's insurance company finally fixed the glitch in December, and started paying for ALL of her medications, she refused to sell anymore of her pills to Junior. He tried numerous times to convince her to give in and sell him a few, but she stood firm. Interestingly enough it was only after she STOPPED selling her medications that the police came to arrest her.


The police officer in charge of my mother’s case acknowledged that she believed they had made a mistake in allowing Junior to set my mom up. She said that although what my mom did was wrong she understood the motivation to want to put food on the table, and to keep the heat and electricity turned on.

I heard one police officer say, even while they were going through our house looking for evidence of a drug operation, that “This lady is not a criminal she is just trying to survive, this is down right sad.”


My mom wasn’t a drug dealer like Junior Latocha. She was just trying to do all that she could to get by. I am not saying that what she did was okay, but I too understand why she did it.

Junior on the other hand is an actual DRUG DEALER who is STILL actively selling drugs to people in not only Wasilla and Palmer, but also Anchorage! I have heard from various people I know that he is the biggest Oxycontin dealer in the Valley who receives packages through the mail with hundreds of Oxycontin pills to sell, and I know for a FACT he is still out there selling because I have seen him!! I have also heard that his relationship with the police has changed and that now he is avoiding them for fear of getting arrested again. Yet I still see him around town sometimes and I just saw him just the other day at the State Fair.

I swear it makes me sick to my stomach every time I see that scum!

I really wanted to put this information out for everybody to see even though this could be dangerous for me. You never know what these people are capable of, and I have seen this group do some pretty awful things to people.

But I will not stop until I see justice done for my family. I do not think the sentence my mother got was fair. How was it that Todd’s sister could rob multiple houses to feed her drug addiction, with her four year old daughter along for the ride, and receive such a light sentence? How did Junior get off just by agreeing to set up a poor lady desperate to reduce her pain and care for her family? How are THEY less deserving of a harsher sentence than my mother?

Today Junior Latocha continues his life of crime, and keeps spreading his poison throughout the Valley with no end in sight, while my mother is a virtual prisoner in her own home.

So you tell me, where is the justice?

Bristol Palin, Dancing with the Stars, and the missed opportunity to make a REAL difference

Many of my readers keep asking what I think about Bristol being part of the cast on “Dancing with the Stars.” I at first hesitated to respond to that because I do not want my blog to be focused on Bristol Palin.



However, I noticed that the questions keep coming so I feel that I need to address them.



Once I found out that Bristol would be one of the cast members on “Dancing with the Stars” I was honestly somewhat shocked and a little disgusted. How can Levi and our family see Tripp while she is away in LA practicing her dance routines? That was my first concern. It has been months since I last saw my precious nephew and now it is clear that it will be many more months before I see him again.


Along with my constant concern for my nephew, what really bothered me, with all due respect to other teen mothers out there, is that I believe this is sending the WRONG message to other teens.



They’re going to look at this as, Bristol Palin got pregnant as a teen, and now she is famous! They will see her being offered multiple opportunities, being cast on a sitcom, joining the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”, all while making hundreds of thousands of dollars. For many teens it will appear that the road to success is through unprotected sex.



I really hope that the media will realize that this kind of thing is sending the message to other young teens that this is glamorous and a way to get a lot of attention. Since Bristol became pregnant, and made headlines world wide, teen pregnancy in Wasilla has sky rocketed!



Everywhere I look I see somebody who is expecting a new baby. If you go into a public restroom there is writing on the walls saying:



“Is it bad that I’m 15 and want a baby soooo bad?”

“I would give anything to have a baby!”

“I want to be a mommy at 14!”



And many other extremely disturbing and jaw dropping messages. I think that having Bristol on television dancing along with those other so-called celebrities is just going to reinforce the idea in the minds of many teens that having a baby can make you glamorous and famous, and you will get tons of attention. Which of course is absolutely ridiculous! Yet many of these girls are just screaming for attention and believe this is a way to get it.


After I read those messages on the restroom wall, I actually took a picture of them with my cell phone because I was so completely shocked by how many young girls are writing them. It seems that it is becoming a trend!



I showed my dad the pictures, and at first he was wondering why in the world I took a picture of the bathroom wall, but when I explained to him how many teens are TRYING to get pregnant in response to all of the attention, money, and fame that Bristol was receiving, he shook his head in disgust.



He just looked at me and we both immediately knew what the other was thinking. How sad these young girl’s lives must be for them to believe that becoming pregnant was their only hope of finding love and getting attention from those around them. I wish I could reach out to these young girls and explain to them that they have their whole lives ahead of them, and there are other ways to get attention without going out and sleeping around just to receive gifts at a baby shower, have people comment on your belly, and buy cute baby clothes.



I just don’t think many of them realize how many responsibilities come with a new baby, and that parenting is essentially a full time job that lasts the rest of your life.


I think that as a speaker for the Candie’s Foundation, and advocate for abstinence, that Bristol should be spreading a message that speaks to the difficulties of motherhood, and pounding home the idea that, yes she is now famous for being a teen mom, but THAT it is not the right decision for the majority of the teenage girls out there.



She should talk about just how hard it is to manage a “full time job and college” while being a “single mother”. Instead I believe she is focused on the opportunity to wear fancy gowns and jewelry, and appear fabulous on TV. Not exactly an opportunity offered to other single teenage mothers in this country.



I do hope she does well on the show, and I sincerely mean that! However for purely selfish reasons I hope she gets to come home sooner, rather than later, so that I can hopefully hold my nephew in my arms before too much time goes by.



Here is just some of the bathroom graffiti I have seen in Wasilla.

Random drug testing and my life in limbo

This week I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what I should write about for my next post.



Well after I went over and I checked the blog Immoral Minority it clicked. I read the post Gryphen wrote about my mother’s weekly UA’s and I wanted to add my two cents.


Although I know it is required by the courts it still angers me that for the next two years I have to live my life around these random UA’s.



They will not allow my mother to drive because she is taking medications for her pain which means that I always have to make myself available to drive her to and from Palmer. ( Palmer is about 20 minutes away. 16 miles from our house).



Sometimes while waiting in the parking lot for my mother to come back out I see other EM clients driving themselves to their appointments and it really kind of irritates me.



But even if she was allowed to drive it would still not be possible because my dad got her car in the divorce settlement. So I guess that leaves it up to me.



It is not that I mind taking care of my mom, believe me I don’t, but not only does the randomness of her UA’s make it virtually impossible to take college classes, the money I spend on gas to get her there, and the miles it puts on my car is outrageous!



I cannot go out like a normal teenager and hang out with friends to watch movies, or play sports, or take in a late dinner, because I have to make sure I am in bed at a decent time every night just in case there is a UA scheduled early in the morning. There can be several UA’s each week as well as visits with mom’s parole officer, not to mention random visits at the house by her PO, and other appointments connected to her conviction. It often makes for a very busy and very chaotic week.


However I know my mom is greatly appreciative of all that I do for her and sometimes has been known to shed tears because of how much she realizes I am sacrificing for her.



I suppose the hardest thing is that some other family members don’t seem to understand, or appreciate, just how much I do.



They still expect me to go out and get a job as well as go to school full time which simply is not possible right now while mom is so dependent on me. It isn’t at all easy and at times the stress is almost unbearable.


Now that Levi and I are back on speaking terms, and are currently working on repairing our relationship, I hope that he will be able to take up some of the slack and give me a break once in a while.


By the way I just need to mention that I really appreciate the support you all have given me and my family. Believe me I don’t take any of it for granted and I always look forward to reading your very supportive comments when you take the time to share your thoughts with me.

My feelings about Levi and Bristol's custody agreement

First let me apologize for such a long absence.



There has been a lot going on and I have been extremely busy. However I just had to add my two cents concerning the new custody agreement that Levi signed as I know many of you wondered what I thought about it.


When I first I read it my mouth quite literally dropped open and I have to admit I that I was seeing red for a moment. I was extremely upset and still cannot believe that, after all of this time, THIS is the agreement that Levi ended up with.



I cannot comprehend why my brother settled for that, and if Rex and Tank truly had his best interests at heart they would never have let that happen!



But they are much too worried about themselves, and their own publicity, to care about what is best for Levi.



So Levi only gets his son Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings, that seems like such a random and odd schedule and I just cannot make sense of it. I hope with all my heart that this is just a temporary agreement.


How is it that the agreement states no family is allowed to say critical things about the other family in front of child, when all Bristol does is spy on me in an attempt to find something bad that she can use against me to start drama over on Facebook? Lately it seems that all she has been doing is attempting to add all my friends to her Facebook account, and snoop around in the comments I leave them, or look through the pictures I share, hoping there is something bad in them. But unfortunately for her, there isn’t.



But hey Bristol if you are so interested in what I am up to, and who I am talking to, just send a friend request. I would gladly add you, and then you do not have to skulk around Facebook anymore.



Just to clear up some misconceptions, I do not go out of my way to speak about the Palins or say negative things about them in front of my nephew. When I am with Tripp that is the least of my concerns, and what time I get is too precious to waste it talking about Bristol or the rest of the Palin family. I'm much too busy laughing, smiling, and watching Tripp to see what he has learned, and how much he has grown since our last visit.



I cherish the time I get with my nephew. I do not waste it trying to look for reasons to start drama with Bristol, that just isn’t me.



In fact I want all this to be over with, and wish that others felt the same way so that way we could all move on with our lives. Perhaps then Bristol can stop trolling Facebook looking for proof that I am talking smack about her to my friends. And she can also work on her hypocrisy since I am well aware that she says bad things about me around Tripp all the time.



I have had numerous people tell me so.


And one final piece of business before I wrap up this post. For awhile now I have been trying to get a copy of the deposition that I gave in Anchorage several months ago concerning Levi and Bristol's custody case. During the deposition Bristol's attorney, Thomas Van Flein, asked very few questions about Tripp or Levi's parenting, and instead he used the opportunity to try and intimidate me and to find out what I know about Sarah and Todd. I have been wanting to blog about that day for quite some time and hope to get my hands on a copy of the deposition very soon, however you should know that they are making it very hard for me and claiming that it will cost me a couple hundred dollars just for a copy. But once I do manage to get my hands on it I would love to share it with all of you so that you can see exactly how I, and my family, have been treated by the Palin family when no one is around to see.

On Levi and Bristol's most recent breakup, and who I think REALLY got played

I had a feeling that this was going to happen.



I could not help but have serious doubts that Levi and Bristol would make it to the altar.



Let's make it perfectly clear that I want only the best for my brother and nephew, and wish them all the happiness imaginable. However I don't see this marriage making that happen. I just believe that in the long run if they were to have gotten married it would have hurt Tripp even worse as he grew older, and wiser, and understood what was going on around him.



I'm just glad that all this chaos has happened while he is so young that he might not remember all the heart ache and drama.



I was there during their entire relationship before Tripp came along, and a little while after he was just born as well, and they simply did not have a healthy relationship.



They were constantly fighting and exchanging harsh, hurtful words, and reacting in ways that would/could hurt Tripp deeply if they got back together and he were to see them acting that way in front of him. I think co-parenting will be great, and maybe as time goes on they can grow up, mature, and build a better relationship in the future. But for now I'm glad they called it off.



It just blows my mind that Bristol would call off the engagement to someone who she "loved and which everything just felt so right" because of petty rumors which she already knew about before she got back together with Levi.



It's a small town; everyone knows everything within a matter of weeks! There is no way she didn't know about the rumors circulating about Lanesia! Especially because of how much attention Bristol still pays to Lanesia out of left over middle school jealousy.



I feel like this was a huge set up, and that my brother got played. Again.



I can only imagine the heartache he is going through right now. I know how much he loves both Bristol and Tripp.



My mom just said as she was reading through my post and that she agrees completely with what I wrote. She also believes that based on what she has heard, witnessed, and read recently, that Bristol was just looking for any little excuse to break off the engagement and cause more drama so that she can play the victim.



I also recently read in US weekly magazine a quote from Bristol that said "sorry babe, your sister won't be attending the wedding", and the reason given was that I supposedly threatened to "kick her ass in SEVENTH grade.



That was so many years ago, get over it!



To be honest I don't recall ever threatening to beat her up. But I did tell her off once because I caught her two timing my brother with the boy that I was seeing at the time.



But seriously, can't she move on and get over middle school spats? If she is as forgiving as her mother claims, there is no way that old arguments should still even be an issue.



Isn’t that right Bristol ? Especially since it was you, and not I, who was in the wrong.

My friend Lanesia Garcia is having a baby, and Levi has absolutely NOTHING to do with it

Wow, have the last few weeks been full of surprises or what?



For some time now I have been wanting to put up my mom’s guest post but there has been so much breaking news I am going to have to put that aside until later next week.



Right now I think I have to address the situation concerning Lanesia Garcia.



Lanesia is my brother’s former middle school girlfriend. During their relationship she and I grew close and became good friends, and remained so even after they broke up.



We used to hangout all the time, but since Levi and Bristol got together that first time it has been hell trying to spend time with her.



Bristol and Lanesia use to be friends before Lanesia and Levi broke up. But once they split, and Levi and Bristol got together, Bristol became extremely jealous of Lanesia and no longer wanted anything to do with her. She completely dumped Lanesia as a friend leaving Lanesia feeling betrayed and deeply hurt.


During Levi and Bristol’s entire relationship I have continued to maintain a friendship with Lanesia, and even worked with her for a brief time period. But Bristol simply could not accept that. She would get angry and even yell at Levi, me, and even my MOM for associating with Lanesia.





Here is part of an interview I did back in February about the text messages from Bristol to Levi. That's my mother in the background saying "We all cried."


Out of respect for Bristol, and knowing how it felt to be worried about somebody’s ex, I never had Lanesia come over while Levi was home, although I thought that was pretty stupid. However it just wasn’t worth listening to one of Bristol's temper tantrums.



As a result I would rarely hangout with Lanesia, and if I did it was mostly at her house or we would go out and do something around town.



Believe it or not Bristol would have her friends on the look out for Lanesia’s vehicle at our house. If somebody saw her car I would get random threatening texts from Bristol. She just could not get over the fact that I was still going to be her friend and that I was not going to let her control me.


I find it very immature for Bristol to tell me who I can, and can’t be friends with based on their past relationship with my brother.



To be honest Lanesia and I were not friends when she and Levi first got together. Being the protective sister that I am I really did not warm up to her for quite awhile. But over time she grew on me and I gained a great deal of respect for her. I eventually learned how kind Lanesia was and how much we had in common.



For example ever since the first Christmas and Valentines Day that Levi and Lanesia spent together as a couple, she has always gone out of her way to get a gift for my mother and I, and we would always get her one too.



Now it is kind of like a tradition. Every Christmas and Valentines day I always have a special gift or two from my friend Lanesia.



Well this has always presented a huge problem when it came to dealing with Bristol.



Here is an example of what I am talking about:


It was February 14th 2009 and I was just about to head off to my then boyfriends house (He was going to take me out to dinner and then we were going to go over and watch movies at his house), when I noticed a missed call from Nesia.



I called her back and she asked if she could stop by.



Knowing Levi wouldn’t be home for a few hours, and that I had a few minutes to spare before I had to leave, I said “yes of course” and told her that I had something for her when she arrived.



About five minutes later she pulled up. When I answered the door I saw her standing there with two huge beautiful bouquets’ of flowers. Orange for me, because she knew its my favorite color, and purple for my mom, because that is her favorite. (I think we got her flowers and a teddy bear.)



After we exchanged gifts and chatted for a bit, we walked out together and both left the house at the same time. She was only at our house for about 5-7 minutes.



After my boyfriend and I returned from dinner, and were back at his house watching movies with his mom and step dad, I noticed a few text messages on my phone from Bristol.



This is what she wrote, “How f**king dumb could you be to have Lanesia stop by your house? You will never see your nephew again!” and about four other texts that were just as hurtful and filled with rage.



I let my boyfriend read them as I just sat stunned with disbelief. He read it out loud to his parents and his mom said you should text her back and tell her to grow up.



I contemplated replying but decided not to because, no matter what I say, it will never be good enough. I obeyed her demands, and didn’t have Lanesia come over while Levi was home there so we wouldn’t have a problem, and it still was not enough.



I tried not to let the messages ruin my night as I sat and finished watching the movies with my boyfriend and his parents. Afterward, around 10 PM I returned home. As soon as I walked in my front door I automatically I felt that something was wrong.



As I entered the house I saw my brother laying on the living room couch with this kind of puzzled, upset look on his face, which I had not seen since we were kids and overheard our parents discussing getting a divorce.



Because Levi is such a private person I decided not to ask him any questions and instead went upstairs to ask mom if she knew what was wrong.



She stood up and said “Guess who called me?”



I had no idea and asked “Who?” She said “Bristol! And she exploded and went off on me”.



I was pretty shocked and more than a little confused. “Why? What did she say?” I asked.



Mom told me, with tears running down her face in anger, that Bristol had called her and exploded in anger, screaming at her and saying “How dare you allow Lanesia to stop by your house!”, and that was the reason we will never see Tripp, because “girls like that are stopping by!” She then claimed that we had a chaotic f**cked up family and then went on to compare Lanesia, Levi’s teenage middle school girlfriend, to the woman my father had cheated on my mother with.


I was in complete disbelief that my brother’s girlfriend/fiancé would call the grandmother of her newborn son and scream at her just because an ex-girlfriend of Levi’s had stopped by for a few minutes to drop off a gift. It was absolutely surreal.



I was so incredibly angry that I went straight downstairs to ask my brother what the heck was going on and how Bristol even knew Lanesia had stopped by?



Levi said that apparently one of her friends drove by and saw Lanesia’s truck at our house.



Levi looked extremely depressed and held up his cellphone saying “Look.”



I did as he asked and this is what I read. “Ever since the moment I found out I was pregnant I prayed to God you weren’t the father!”



I will not lie on my blog, so I will admit that I cried. I had quite a few tears streaming down my cheek as I hugged my brother and tried to comfort him.



I told him how sorry I was, and that I didn’t realize having my friend over would cause such turmoil. He said not to worry about it and it and that it wasn’t my fault.



My point in telling this story is to illustrate that Bristol has always had a huge problem with Lanesia and was always super self conscious when it came to her and Levi.


Since Levi and Bristol got back together he has now tried to contact me only twice.



Once demanding that I take my blog down, and the second was when he called my mom’s phone demanding that I give him Lanesia’s cell phone number so he could call her in front of Bristol and prove he isn’t the father of her unborn child. In response I told him that because I had been so desperate to see my nephew I hadn’t even talked to Lanesia in several months. I told him I did not even have her new number ( I could tell that I was on speaker phone and knew that Bristol was listening to make sure Levi did as she demanded).



He then asked “Have I been with Lanesia” (Obviously he was hoping that if I said he hadn’t been with her that would be enough to calm Bristol down.) I replied “ Well, Levi how would I know? Despite Bristol’s claims I don’t make you sleep with other women. But I believe with all my heart that you have not slept with her.”



Then he hung up on me. “Well” I thought “that’s the end of that!”



This all took place about a week or two ago. Yesterday I received several e-mails with links claiming Lanesia is currently pregnant with Levi’s kid.



I have talked to both Lanesia and Levi and both have said that is a lie.



Lanesia says she is 100% sure that she is pregnant with her boyfriend’s child and desperately wants all these rumors put to rest.



She says there is NO way that this child is Levi’s.



I do not think there is any way this child could be my brother’s either, although that would be a bitter sweet miracle. I say bitter because of the repercussions it would have on my brother and his relationship with Bristol, and sweet because I know Lanesia would love nothing more then to have my mother and myself in her child’s life because she knows we are very kind people who would be a great aunt and grandmother to her baby. Even if others may not agree.



Either way I am very happy for my friend Lanesia and just KNOW she will make a great mother.

On getting blamed for Levi and Bristol's breakup in a national publication

The other day as I walked through our local Wal-Mart I happened to notice the most recent US Weekly magazine lined up on every single checkout line.



Feeling a little embarrassed I looked at the ground to avoid making eye contact with anybody who might happen to see the magazine, and recognizing me, want to ask me questions about it.



I walked away from the check out line and then decided to call my mom to ask if there was anything else she needed at the grocery store before I left. She named off a few items and then asked me if I had seen the magazine with Levi and Bristol there. I quietly whispered yes.



She then asked if I had read it. “No” I said. She asked me to buy it so she could read it at home. The LAST thing I wanted to do was buy it and increase their sales in any way, but it is really hard to say no to my mom..



But before I gave in and bought it for her I decided I needed to read it and see if it's worth spending my money on.



As I was looking over the photos and reading the first page I caught myself smiling.



“Why” you might ask?



I will tell you why. Because there was a big smile on both my brother and nephew’s faces, and they both looked extremely happy which could not help but make me happy as well.



Well at least I was until I got to the end where I was suddenly snapped back to reality.



One of the questions they asked of Bristol was, “How'd it (the relationship) officially end?”



Her response was, “I read a text message on Levi's phone from his sister about setting him up with one of her friends. I was pissed, like, "you know what? You don't have a job or an education, I'm not doing this with you." So we broke up. He saw Tripp every few months after that.”



As I read that and got very upset. I was in fact stunned.



Bristol has done some very harsh things to me, such as manipulating my brother into not speaking to me, but this was very hurtful, not to mention one of the biggest lies that has came out of her mouth yet.



I would NEVER have tried to split up their new family, and make Bristol bear the same pain that my mom endured when she was cheated on.



Regardless of how rocky our relationship was I would not wish that kind of pain on ANYBODY. And I certainly would never have done that to my new born baby nephew who I love with all of my heart.



I never wanted any of my friends to be with my brother while he was with Bristol and I am the last person to condone cheating because of all the pain I have experienced from my own father’s affair.



Everyone who knows me knows family is number one to me, and I hate cheaters more than anything! In fact I am still very upset by the fact that some of my so called "friends" used me to get closer to my brother and I still have trust issues from it.



Bristol, if your intentions are to slam me and play the victim in a national magazine, at least provide proof that I did indeed text Levi in an attempt to hook him up with one of my friends.



Oh, wait, you can't! Because it NEVER happened!



Please just get over the fact that some of my friends have previously been with Levi or you will NEVER have a healthy marriage with him.



And Levi, how dare you sit there and allow her to blame me for your whole break up!



You two need to take responsibility for your own actions.



Do you remember what it was like? You two fought every single day, called each other the harshest names imaginable, and not one bit of that was my fault!



Levi, I have had your back our whole lives, and I cannot believe you would let the whole world assume I am the bad guy when you know full well I had nothing to do with it! Take responsibility and stick up for your family! This is pathetic Levi, man up!



Recently Sarah claimed that "Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives."



But if that were the case then why still hold this grudge against me? Why?

Sometimes getting kicked off the team is not such bad thing

There were some interesting comments in the ADN from Rex Butler announcing that "Team Levi will no longer tell Mercede any information" and that I am "not privy to information from anyone with Team Levi."

From the very beginning I have had my doubts about Rex and Tank, and have often wondered if they had my family's best interests at heart or if they were really just trying to gain fame for themselves by using us.

Well all during this rollercoaster ride Rex and Tank have repeatedly tried to console me and remind me that all of us needed to stick together, and that we were a “family”.

They always promised they would be there for us and always have our backs. Well if that isn’t a joke I don’t know what is.

I clearly remember the number of times I would call Rex over and over again asking if he would go to see my mom at Hiland Mountain Correctional Facility and get her paper work done, or discuss potential options for her release. He would rarely answer my calls, never call me back, and the few times that I could get through he would say he had already gone to see her and was going back again very soon. But then I would go see my mother and she would look puzzled when I told her Rex claimed he had just visited her. Of course as it turned out he hadn't!

Only few times did he go to see her while she was in Hiland, and each time it was around MIDNIGHT and he would be so tired he would literally be falling asleep in his chair!

My mom was very concerned about me while she was incarcerated and Rex promised her that he, Tank, and Levi were taking care of my every need, and that I was doing even better than good.

In reality I was living all alone in a house, the bills for which I was unable to pay. I would receive daily notices that the electric bill was due, or that the heat was about to be turned off, and have absolutely no idea what to do about it. And always there were reporters and random strangers stopping outside of the house to take pictures or simply gawk, as if simply being there alone was not creepy enough!

Oh and did I mention that I was a fulltime student as well?

All the while as I was trying to figure out how I was going to buy enough gas to get to school, or buy something for dinner, or keep the lights on, Levi, Rex, and Tank were nowhere to be found. Despite what they were telling my mother, no one was watching out for me. Not even my own brother.

Believe it or not, Rex did not even know that my mom was getting out of jail until I called to inform him, and I am also the one who got her paper work together for her release.

He had no idea that Bristol and Levi were back together until I told him. In fact they had no idea about numerous things concerning Levi and Bristol until I called them, and only THEN did they know to take action.

Not once have they called to check on how my mom is doing now that she is out of Hiland. Not once!

There are numerous things to tell about the incompetence of Rex and Tank, but the main thing that I find upsetting right now is their claim that "Team Levi” will no longer inform me of what is going on after he spent the last year claiming that we are ALL one big family. Now if anyone should be a member of team Levi I would think that his REAL family would be #1 on that list.

Perhaps he is just upset that my mom and I refused to sign a three year contract with him. As if we would ever let him have control over our lives again!

I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that Tank and Rex sure did get a lot of opportunities from their association with Levi. They got to be featured in magazines, walked the red carpet, and Tank even made a commercial for television while standing next to Levi.

Were they really looking out for Levi's best interests? Did they put his needs first? Or did they use him just to get a little fame and fortune of their own?

Who really has Levi's best interests at heart? The private investigator and attorney who will not return a phone call unless there is money involved? Or the mother and sister who have been on his "team" since back before he was famous, and only his friends and family knew Levi Keith Johnston, of Wasilla Alaska? I don't think that is very hard to figure out.

And do you know what? After everybody has taken their pound of flesh and moved on to greener pastures, WE will still be on his team. Because he really IS our family, and he always will be.

Who needs coffee when you wake up to news this shocking?

The other day I was awakened by my mother bringing me breakfast in bed because she was so touched by the post I wrote about her. What a great start to my day that was!

Well yesterday I was also awakened by my mother. But it was not breakfast she had in her hand. It was my laptop and on the screen was a beautiful picture of Levi, Bristol, and Tripp on the cover of US Weekly!

Not exactly the image I wanted to come face to face with when I first opened my eyes.

I looked up to see that my mom was very upset, with tears running down her face, yet still trying to console my other family members who were texting her and sending messages via Facebook saying they were very upset that they had to find out about this engagement from the media and not from Levi himself. I sent a message telling them not to feel too badly since even his own mother and sister had to find out that way.

I have to say with all the odd things going on lately I definitely expected something. However I think there may be more to this picture than we are able to see right now. I guess time will tell.

I would like to take a moment to congratulate my soon to be sister-in-law and big brother.

I sure hope this is a sincere decision that you have thought through carefully Levi, and that it will bring you happiness.

I do wish you guys would take a little more time with this decision, and I certainly do not understand why you are rushing things. Unless of course there is some reason for the hurry.

I am also very happy to see Tripp in Levi's arms again, and I do know that it will be good for him to have both of his parents back in his life full time from now on. And you know he really does deserve the best that you can provide.

I can’t wait to watch the two of you wed, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Bristol, if you ever feel overwhelmed with all the decisions involved with planning a wedding I would love to offer you my help. I am a very good event planner, decorator, and I have great taste.


My mother would also like to congratulate her son and soon to be daughter in law, and she hopes to see more of both of you as you plan for your big day. And obviously would also be thrilled to help plan the wedding!

We are going to be attending the wedding, right?

A post about my hero, Sherry Johnston

Updated with Twitter link at bottom... I have been very busy with some personal stuff so I apologize for not writing more often but I hope to change that soon.

On another note I have a surprise post for you from my mother that will be going up later this week. It will be an exclusive look inside her life, and will discuss her illness, her diagnosis, her surgeries, and the many losses she has suffered.



Her story has had a huge impact on my life and made me a much stronger person, a much more independent person, and someone who really appreciates everything that I have in my life, such as my health, family, and friends.



It has not been easy on my brother and I growing up watching our mom in constant pain.



There was a time where she was completely bed ridden and she couldn’t even move. Her legs were all black and blue and we were terrified!



We watched her undergo surgery after surgery, seemingly on a weekly basis.



We often stayed with our Aunt and Uncle while our mother was in the hospital for weeks at a time, and our dad was on the North Slope, or on a trip out of town.



Going to doctor appointments and hearing each new diagnosis frightened us out of our minds. We began thinking that we are going to lose our mother because we were so young and didn’t know exactly what was going on.



Levi and I have often talked about how sad it is that this has happened to one of the most honest, loyal, loving, funny, beautiful, and kind people we have ever known, and it just killed us that our mom couldn’t be like other moms.



I remember one time specifically where I was holding my moms left arm, and Levi was holding her right arm, and we were helping her walk into the Carrs Safeway in Wasilla to get some groceries.



I was looking around when I saw young teens and their mothers also walking into the store. But they were laughing, and walking side by side, and throwing snowballs at each other, not struggling to help their frail mothers stand and walk like we were.



At that moment Levi and I looked at each other, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. Unlike everybody else’s mother, our mom was sick and would probably never have the luxury of just playing with us. Or joining us in physical activities such as playing sports, running, or biking. She could never plan family camping or fishing trips because she is always in such excruciating pain.



I know she wishes more than anything that she was able to do those things, but she is simply in too much pain.



It has been extremely tough on us to understand why our mom can’t volunteer to accompany us on field trips, or go camping anymore, or take us to birthday parties and hockey games. But what has been even more difficult is trying to reassure her that, regardless of her limitations, she is still the best mother we could possibly ask for. And that we appreciate her for all that she has done for us, even when she was hurting so badly that she was unsuccessful in holding back her tears, which she secretly wiped away, while making our school lunches and hoping that we wouldn’t notice. But we did.



We have also learned to appreciate every moment that we get with her where she isn’t in so much pain that she can’t get up and do things with us. The moments when she is not hurting so badly that all she can do is lie in her bed crying, clenching her fists, curling her toes, groaning while rubbing her stomach in agony. It is literally one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever had to witness. Seeing the one that I love so very much, the one that literally gave me life, in so much pain is indescribable.



If it wasn’t enough that my disabled mother was taking care of two kids, as well as dealing with the loss of her parents, she then also had to deal with a very tough split from her husband of 23 years.



My dad had been engaged in an on again off again affair with a very heartless woman for many years.



That affair was harder on me then words could ever explain, or my dad could ever understand. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it was on my mom.



However being the superhero of a mother that she is, she tried not to show much emotion and to stay strong for us. To this day when I look at my mother I think to myself, how in the hell did she get through all of this? That is one strong, brave, incredible woman. I idolize her and consider myself truly blessed to be able to call her my mom.



Despite her physical impairments I wish that everybody could have a mother as wonderful as my mom.

On different note, a lot of people have been asking me to get a Twitter account and I want you to know that I have one.



I have not used it much in the past but I promise that I will start getting on it and using it more often in the future. I would really love it if my readers would also follow me on Twitter, and you can do so right here. I am not really all that familiar with Twitter but I will do my best to “Tweet”!

No I will NOT sit down and shut up!

I hope you all had a fun, relaxing, and safe 4th of July.



I took a nice camping trip up to Denali with one of my good friends (Denali is about three hours away from Wasilla, near Fairbanks).



I only stayed one night because I had to get back to my mother, but really I enjoyed my time away from it all.



I went four wheeling, roasted marshmallows, hiked, shared some laughter, and most importantly cleared my head and got away from all the drama that seems to overwhelm my life lately.



After about four hours of fun out on a four-wheeler I finally stopped someplace where there was a clear signal and checked my I-phone. I found that I had received a number of messages, but there was one which caught my attention, immediately made my heart beat faster, and brought a tear to my eye.


The message was from my mother saying that Levi, who has not spoken to us since he rekindled his relationship with Bristol (although we had attempted repeatedly to call or text him), left a message saying that if I did not take my blog down by Wednesday that I would never get to see him, or Tripp, again.



I could not believe it! I thought to myself if he was really willing to make such a threat that he would at least have the decency to call me and talk about it first. I mentioned on my blog repeatedly that my intention was not to hurt or attack the Palins, but to speak out and tell the public my side of the story. As well as how badly my life, and the lives of our family members, had been impacted by our association with the Palins.



It had my mind spinning. How could my brother threaten me like this?



He knows more then anybody how difficult things are, how much I need his help with my mother so I can attend college, and how much I love him and his son.



Why would he let this happen all over again? He denied he was controlled by Bristol, and wasn‘t allowed to talk to me or hangout with me, on the Larry King Show the first time this happened and I had to immediately correct him. And now he is allowing it to happen AGAIN!



My mother and I have always been there for him, and had his back with every decision he has made, whether we agreed with it or not.



Levi knows how much I love him. But for him to allow Bristol to control him and then threaten not talk to me AGAIN is devastating to me, and sadly unsurprising.



I knew this would happen the minute I learned that Levi and Bristol were back together, but when Levi saw me crying about it he promised it would not happen again. Like I said, I knew what was coming.


After I left the Denali campsite I had a long drive ahead of me which was a good thing. It gave me time to think, reevaluate, and try to make sense of this whole thing.



When I was just about home I came to a conclusion. I will not allow myself to be controlled by Bristol Palin like my brother is!



Even if I take my blog down and keep my mouth shut Bristol will not allow Levi and Tripp to be a part of my life. She will always have some excuse.



As much as it hurts to lose the ones who I love so very much, I know in the end they will be back.



I wish Levi could be the man I know he is and have a mind of his own and finally stand his ground, but I guess he is blinded by love. I just wish he would take a step back and look at the bigger picture.



How is it fair that I can’t speak my mind on a blog without Levi threatening to never speak to me again, but Bristol can go on Facebook daily and call me nasty names with no repercussions at all?



In the end all of this back and forth is doing nothing but confusing Tripp and keeping him away from the people who love him. Compared to allowing a little boy to receive love from BOTH sides of his family, our personal issues are petty.



I love you Levi and Tripp, and I will be right here waiting for you to see that MY love comes with no strings attached.



As for you Bristol I am sure this is not the outcome you were hoping for, but you should know that I don’t respond well to threats.


I am moving on with my life, and though I wish my brother would do more to help out with our mom, I know that I am incredibly tough. I have been through a lot in my life so far and I am confident I can manage a job, my mom’s schedule, and college without his help.



I will continue to blog, discussing both my life as well as current events, as I have found that it helps to alleviate my stress and allow me to put aside my problems for at least a little while.



I can go to bed at night knowing that I did everything I could for my family, including Levi and Tripp. I can sleep with a completely clean conscious, though I am not sure that others have that luxury.


To my mother and I family is #1 and blood is thicker than water, and I will always stand by that.



As for this new People magazine article where my brother “Apologizes to the Palins” I am extremely disappointed in him. Not only is he being controlled like a puppet, but saying that all of his comments and stories were lies is absurd!



I know for a fact that all of his comments were true. I lived through all this and I remember clear as day all of the times that Levi would come home and tell me about Sarah complaining, or fights going on between the family, .etc.



I know he wasn’t making all that up, why would he have back then? I am very disappointed that he is allowing them to control him in such a manner.

Levi, please don’t do this to yourself and family again.

I am not afraid of the Palins. And yeah maybe it is just me up against a huge army of Palin supporters, but really what else can they take from me?



Nothing.



In the end the truth shall prevail.

Time to set the record straight

These past few weeks have been exceptionally hard on my family.


With so much going on I did not know where to start in constructing my next blog post. This has been a very stressful situation for all of us.

I have been receiving serious threats and cannot even walk through a store without somebody giving me the finger or making catty remarks, so I am a little confused about what is or is not safe to write about.



I feel that my freedom of speech has been completely stolen from me.



Why is it that when I tell the truth I get threatened?



I was raised to tell the truth no matter how hurtful it may be, but now my relatives are being harassed at work and getting multiple phone calls to their home which is completely unfair to them.

I am getting especially annoyed with all of this conspiracy talk saying that I took those photos of my brother’s truck at Bristol’s condo.



First off I don’t even know where she lives, nor do I care.



Believe me I would not waste my gas, and time, just to drive all the way into Anchorage to find her condo and take a picture. I knew that she and Levi were hanging out, but I was so upset that I didn’t even want to think about it, let alone tell the whole world about it.



The first I even heard about any pictures was when I was awakened by phone calls from friends and family asking if Bristol and Levi were back together because there were now photos surfacing online that showed his truck at her place. My response was, “I don’t know”, because to be honest it was not any of their business!



But for some reason nobody seems to believe me. Including Bristol herself.



Here is a Facebook post from Bristol talking about me which is completely full of inaccuracies.



Bristol:



How does it benefit Tripp to provide pictures of my home, my truck, and even my licenses plates? Do you think its safe for my one year old son to have stalkers driving by his/our home constantly? Do you think its fair to have your friends make threats towards myself and my household? .. I think this limelight gives you some sort of sick high. I ... See Moreknow you're desperate for attention, but enough was enough about a year and a half ago. You hold no title, and you have no class. You are the biggest contradiction. How can you be on food stamps, but still buy designer purses and wear designer jeans? Do you think you'll go far in life by making fast money solely on untrue, completely illegitimate accusations? .. Like I said you're seeking attention, and you don't have enough friends, or a job, or even a hobby, occupying your time. I know you're life must be depressing hun, but that's why there antidepressants.



April:
Guessing this is fir Sadie ... Call me tomorrow

Bristol:
Hahahaha sorry man, it wouldn't let me post this on my wall.. Maybe you have her as a friend, and she can read it?! .. Call me tomorrow :) we'll need to have another drive up to Hatchers.. Love you



( I will not be revealing her fake Facebook identity in order to protect her privacy, but this is from the ACTUAL Facebook page that she started under an assumed name. I also won’t post all the comments from her friends because revealing their immature and inaccurate statements are unnecessary for the purpose of this blog post)
　
First off I would like to point out that I did NOT take those pictures, and still have no idea where her condo is, so she needs to check her sources.



Secondly I would never do anything to put her or my nephew in any danger. Ever!



Then she goes on to contradict herself by claiming that I have no friends but then says that these friends that I don’t have are threatening her.



Get this straight, NONE of my friends are making threats to Bristol Palin! Maybe there are people that I don’t know, but who want to support me, that are making such threats, but how is that in any way my fault? (If that is the case and those of you who did it are reading this post, please DO NOT make any threats to Bristol! Even if she and I are not getting along I do not want her to feel fearful or worried about her safety. After all she IS the mother of my nephew.)



But if Bristol wants to talk about THREATS then I can print out literally hundreds of threats that I have received from her friends and supporters beginning last year and becoming even worse since I started blogging.



I am also NOT on food stamps! And that was an unnecessarily ugly thing to say.



As for my clothes, well what does my having nice clothes have to do with Bristol? Many of the clothes in my closet I have received as gifts from relatives. The others I purchased for myself. (YES, for your information I started working at age fourteen and had a number of jobs before it became impossible for me to find employment.) Also I have been the same size since my Freshman year so even older clothes still fit.



And WHO said that I don’t have a hobby?



I have a number of hobbies, such as golf, running, scrapbooking, photography, and many others. I am not just sitting around imagining ways to make money by selling information about Bristol. If I were all I would have to do is pick up the phone and sell this story to the tabloids.



Remember, I am not the one making false accusations Bristol. Or lying to the public.



I would appreciate WHOEVER took those pictures of Levi’s truck at Bristol’s condo, and that showed up on Palingates and Radar Online, to step up and admit it so that I can once again prove to her that I am not “out to get her”.



This whole picture scandal has affected me in such a way that my own brother won’t even speak to me because Bristol convinced him that I am the one who took them, and then went on to claim they are putting her and Tripp in danger.



This is really unfair to me, and I would really appreciate the opportunity to clear my name.



Bristol, I would honestly love it if you could let go of everything from the past, and that we could go out for lunch and talk things out like adults. It would be my treat.



Just think about it.

Don't worry I have not gone away

As of late my blog has been getting a lot of negative attention claiming that I am here to bash the Palins.



However as many of you well know in my very first post I announced that bashing the Palin family was NOT my intention. I invited my readers to ask questions, and I promised I would answer them to the best of my knowledge.



I KEPT that promise!



There were some which I chose not to answer because I did not feel that it was appropriate. But I did not shy away from even controversial questions if I believed they deserved an answer.



I am not here to anger the Palins, but I am here to expose what they have done and to tell the world how deeply it has affected my family and I.



People can say whatever they want about me, and call national attention to my blog by labeling it “anti-Palin” if that is their desire. But from the bottom of my heart I am saying that they are wrong when they claim that I am out to get Sarah and Bristol!



I’m not happy about how this has played out, but since this is the card I was dealt I am going to keep my head up and continue to speak out.



I am not going to hold any grudges nor will I hide in the corner and keep quiet. If you think my blog is “slow paced” or “mean” then by all means don’t come to it.

In my next post I am going to change this up a little and talk more about our current situation and how all of this attention is affecting my mother and myself.



I will also invite my mother to write a few words of her own to explain how she is feeling, and how she deals with all of the harassment and threats we get on daily basis.



For those of you who have sent suportive comments, or contributed via Paypal, I want to express my gratitude. You have really been a source of comfort during these difficult last couple of days.



Thank you all very much.

A Few Final Questions Answered Before the Weekend

Part 4 of questions you have asked me...

Did Willow really shoot glares at me during prom?
Yes, but she’s a teenaged girl so it wasn’t surprising. Plus, her date and I took a photo together, so that probably irritated her even more.


Did I ever see books in the Palin home?
No I did not. But then again I was not really paying attention. However I asked my mother and she also says she does not remember seeing any books lying around.


Why were we at their house at the time of the “Triggybear” photos?
To meet Trig! It was important to us. We really believed that they would soon be part of our family and I wanted photos with him because I naturally assumed that he would always be around and I wanted to take pictures as he grew. I am kind of a freak about photography. Plus he was just the cutest thing.
　
Is my family being paid off?
I find this especially insulting. Never would I, nor any member of my family, stoop so low as to allow ourselves to be paid off by the Palins. I am speaking out now and will continue to do so in the future!


Why was that photo of Levi with Trig, instead of Tripp, used on the Tyra Banks Show?
They simply used the wrong photo. That was their mistake and I told them so after the show.


Who’s the other baby in the photo of Levi and Tripp, and why is he/she cut out and only her arm left?
That was my baby cousin who was sitting next to Levi when I took the photo. Later I cropped her out because I did not have permission to use her photo online. I still have the original copy at home.

I don't think I have ever had so many question asked of me at one time!

Perhaps in my next post I will put the questions on hold and share something a little different with you.