Monday, August 23, 2010

Random drug testing and my life in limbo

This week I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what I should write about for my next post.

Well after I went over and I checked the blog Immoral Minority it clicked. I read the post Gryphen wrote about my mother’s weekly UA’s and I wanted to add my two cents.

Although I know it is required by the courts it still angers me that for the next two years I have to live my life around these random UA’s.

They will not allow my mother to drive because she is taking medications for her pain which means that I always have to make myself available to drive her to and from Palmer. ( Palmer is about 20 minutes away. 16 miles from our house).

Sometimes while waiting in the parking lot for my mother to come back out I see other EM clients driving themselves to their appointments and it really kind of irritates me.

But even if she was allowed to drive it would still not be possible because my dad got her car in the divorce settlement. So I guess that leaves it up to me.

It is not that I mind taking care of my mom, believe me I don’t, but not only does the randomness of her UA’s make it virtually impossible to take college classes, the money I spend on gas to get her there, and the miles it puts on my car is outrageous!

I cannot go out like a normal teenager and hang out with friends to watch movies, or play sports, or take in a late dinner, because I have to make sure I am in bed at a decent time every night just in case there is a UA scheduled early in the morning. There can be several UA’s each week as well as visits with mom’s parole officer, not to mention random visits at the house by her PO, and other appointments connected to her conviction. It often makes for a very busy and very chaotic week.

However I know my mom is greatly appreciative of all that I do for her and sometimes has been known to shed tears because of how much she realizes I am sacrificing for her.

I suppose the hardest thing is that some other family members don’t seem to understand, or appreciate, just how much I do.

They still expect me to go out and get a job as well as go to school full time which simply is not possible right now while mom is so dependent on me. It isn’t at all easy and at times the stress is almost unbearable.

Now that Levi and I are back on speaking terms, and are currently working on repairing our relationship, I hope that he will be able to take up some of the slack and give me a break once in a while.

By the way I just need to mention that I really appreciate the support you all have given me and my family. Believe me I don’t take any of it for granted and I always look forward to reading your very supportive comments when you take the time to share your thoughts with me.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

My feelings about Levi and Bristol's custody agreement

First let me apologize for such a long absence.

There has been a lot going on and I have been extremely busy. However I just had to add my two cents concerning the new custody agreement that Levi signed as I know many of you wondered what I thought about it.

When I first I read it my mouth quite literally dropped open and I have to admit I that I was seeing red for a moment. I was extremely upset and still cannot believe that, after all of this time, THIS is the agreement that Levi ended up with.

I cannot comprehend why my brother settled for that, and if Rex and Tank truly had his best interests at heart they would never have let that happen!

But they are much too worried about themselves, and their own publicity, to care about what is best for Levi.

So Levi only gets his son Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings, that seems like such a random and odd schedule and I just cannot make sense of it. I hope with all my heart that this is just a temporary agreement.

How is it that the agreement states no family is allowed to say critical things about the other family in front of child, when all Bristol does is spy on me in an attempt to find something bad that she can use against me to start drama over on Facebook? Lately it seems that all she has been doing is attempting to add all my friends to her Facebook account, and snoop around in the comments I leave them, or look through the pictures I share, hoping there is something bad in them. But unfortunately for her, there isn’t.

But hey Bristol if you are so interested in what I am up to, and who I am talking to, just send a friend request. I would gladly add you, and then you do not have to skulk around Facebook anymore.

Just to clear up some misconceptions, I do not go out of my way to speak about the Palins or say negative things about them in front of my nephew. When I am with Tripp that is the least of my concerns, and what time I get is too precious to waste it talking about Bristol or the rest of the Palin family. I'm much too busy laughing, smiling, and watching Tripp to see what he has learned, and how much he has grown since our last visit.

I cherish the time I get with my nephew. I do not waste it trying to look for reasons to start drama with Bristol, that just isn’t me.

In fact I want all this to be over with, and wish that others felt the same way so that way we could all move on with our lives. Perhaps then Bristol can stop trolling Facebook looking for proof that I am talking smack about her to my friends. And she can also work on her hypocrisy since I am well aware that she says bad things about me around Tripp all the time.

I have had numerous people tell me so.

And one final piece of business before I wrap up this post. For awhile now I have been trying to get a copy of the deposition that I gave in Anchorage several months ago concerning Levi and Bristol's custody case. During the deposition Bristol's attorney, Thomas Van Flein, asked very few questions about Tripp or Levi's parenting, and instead he used the opportunity to try and intimidate me and to find out what I know about Sarah and Todd. I have been wanting to blog about that day for quite some time and hope to get my hands on a copy of the deposition very soon, however you should know that they are making it very hard for me and claiming that it will cost me a couple hundred dollars just for a copy. But once I do manage to get my hands on it I would love to share it with all of you so that you can see exactly how I, and my family, have been treated by the Palin family when no one is around to see.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

On Levi and Bristol's most recent breakup, and who I think REALLY got played

Mercede Johnston

I had a feeling that this was going to happen.

I could not help but have serious doubts that Levi and Bristol would make it to the altar.

Let's make it perfectly clear that I want only the best for my brother and nephew, and wish them all the happiness imaginable. However I don't see this marriage making that happen. I just believe that in the long run if they were to have gotten married it would have hurt Tripp even worse as he grew older, and wiser, and understood what was going on around him.

I'm just glad that all this chaos has happened while he is so young that he might not remember all the heart ache and drama.

I was there during their entire relationship before Tripp came along, and a little while after he was just born as well, and they simply did not have a healthy relationship.

They were constantly fighting and exchanging harsh, hurtful words, and reacting in ways that would/could hurt Tripp deeply if they got back together and he were to see them acting that way in front of him. I think co-parenting will be great, and maybe as time goes on they can grow up, mature, and build a better relationship in the future. But for now I'm glad they called it off.

It just blows my mind that Bristol would call off the engagement to someone who she "loved and which everything just felt so right" because of petty rumors which she already knew about before she got back together with Levi.

It's a small town; everyone knows everything within a matter of weeks! There is no way she didn't know about the rumors circulating about Lanesia! Especially because of how much attention Bristol still pays to Lanesia out of left over middle school jealousy.

I feel like this was a huge set up, and that my brother got played. Again.

I can only imagine the heartache he is going through right now. I know how much he loves both Bristol and Tripp.

My mom just said as she was reading through my post and that she agrees completely with what I wrote. She also believes that based on what she has heard, witnessed, and read recently, that Bristol was just looking for any little excuse to break off the engagement and cause more drama so that she can play the victim.

I also recently read in US weekly magazine a quote from Bristol that said "sorry babe, your sister won't be attending the wedding", and the reason given was that I supposedly threatened to "kick her ass in SEVENTH grade.

That was so many years ago, get over it!

To be honest I don't recall ever threatening to beat her up. But I did tell her off once because I caught her two timing my brother with the boy that I was seeing at the time.

But seriously, can't she move on and get over middle school spats? If she is as forgiving as her mother claims, there is no way that old arguments should still even be an issue.

Isn’t that right Bristol ? Especially since it was you, and not I, who was in the wrong.